Yellowcard - rough draft


Like a Saturday night I'll be gone
Like a Saturday night ill be gone before you knew that I was there

So you wrote it down im supposed to care even though it's never there
Sorry if im not prepared
Is it hard to see the things you substitute
For me and all my thoughts of you
It's eating me alive to leave you

Maybe it's childish and maybe its wrong
But so is your blank stare in lou of this song
Maybe it's childish and maybe its wrong

Don't wanna be don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me your leaving me in lou of this song

Don't wanna be don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me your leaving me in lou of this song

Im breathing in your skin tonight quiet is my loudest cry
Wouldn't want to wake the eyes that make me melt inside
And if it's healthier to leave you be
May a sickness come and set me free

Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me

Writing my own words
My own lil stage
My own epic drama
My own scripted page
Send you the rough draft
Ill seal it with tears
Maybe you'll read it and I'll reappear
from the starting was shaky
at the characters rash
a nice setting for heartache where emotions come last
all I have to decide to overcome this desire
of friendly intentions and fair weathered smiles

and I Don't wanna be don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me your leaving me in lou of this song

Don't wanna be don't wanna be wrong

my favorite song at the moment =)

 
parents are swell

i spent the weekend with moms and pops. well kinda sorta. i got home at around 5ish, since i woke up late and went to the arc. when i got home i had to get house keys from my parents who were at a wedding. so i went home and dropped off my crap and then was gonna chill for a bit when i realized i had left my wallet in irvine. DOH! so i called up ivy and asked if she could get ready and drive down to irvine with me. so we went back to irvine and then met richard! yay richie, at brockton and went to C & O's for dinner. which by the way was fabulous, even tho the waitress was kinda lagging. richard had a remarkable way of saying the restaurants bad and then have it immediately corrected. for instance he complained that we had no bread, and poof...bread. complained about the slow service on the umbrella's (bc it started to drizzle and we were out on the patio) and poof...umbrella. it was fun hanging out with ivy and richard, esp, richie..i miss him and he needs to get his phone back! after dinner we hung out at the brockton pad, chit chatted with michelle and erica, and then it was back to the valley for me and ivy.

when i got home at around 2am i got a craft kick so i made another skirt. i was sooo tired bc i didn't finish until 5am and then got up at 11 for breakfast. the moms was impressed and she gave me the singer handy stitch that she had. yay! now i can make projects faster. also we went on a target run after church...hooray for target. got myself a new hat, some compostion notebooks for school ( i can't believe i overlooked buying school supplies! i love that shit!) and got me a handy space saver for the doorway. michelle and vdg had one in their room for their towels...i've converted mine into a hat/bag rack. it works out well...now i wont be tearing up my room for shit. so after we got home we ate lunch, moms showed me how to use the handy stitch thing and then i konked out. i slept for like 5 hours. damn these naps, its completely throwing off my system.

woke up and had pizza for dinner. yay! i yay bc my parents rarely order pizza...i think they're missin me again bc they're orderin pizza and buyin me stuff at target. its probably like frosh year all over again bc i left after living with them for three months. i miss them, but i dont regret movingback down here. shit...that was a hard three months man!

after pizza, i left to go back to irvine where i've been trying to neat-a-fy my room. its a harrowing feat bc i'm such a mess. but shit i've got such a big space...this is gonna take a while!

okay i think i should get some shut eye bc marco want to go to the arc at 730 before class....hahah yeah rite marco i'm sleeping in!

 
evil i tell you evil!

so instead of working out or doing anything else productive....i've been downloading songs from mp3.com. damn u marco for showing me show to dl stuff from there! so now my puters full of punk songs from obscure bands that no one listens too. geez i've turned into an indie snob. oh whatevers. its good times. i should really go to the arc right now. i live right next to it to damn it, but i have to go home and do laundry! arghh and i had such a big meal yesterday. dude...pants are fitting to well nowadays...arghh...what to do, what to do!! hmm ok ok i'm gonna get my ass in gear and go to the arc. my parents are probably out grocery shopping anyhow!

have a good weekend everyone! =)

 
reminsce

last night was good times. the first kaba mtg of the year and old board reunited. when i say old board i mean the board where i was community advocacy. it was fun to just kick it, reminsce, drink up, and simply just be together. we all got drunk at the pub, made a ruckus at the mtg ( made the mtg a lil bit more entertaining really ), went back to the pub, and then went to mish's house to watch friends and will and grace. i haven't seen those shows in a couple years, but it wasn't hard to get back into the swing of things. then me, april, mish, chari, and mel d pre partied, while jevon and sam (mel's man) kicked since they were driving. the party was cool, the drinks were strong, the music was fun. all in all it was a good night. and now i have to go to class at 11am boo. i hope you woke up for work @ 9am: mel and mish!!

congrats to mish on the nice rock on the finger!! yay!
(oh and i think i left my hat at your house mish, i'll just get it when we hang out again)

 
how do you...

how do you tell someone that they've made a mistake? that they've made the wrong choice. right now i know someone who is very happy with the decision that they've made, but its at the cost of losing a lot.

say that you had a friend who was in love with someone and is with someone, who is completely wrong for them. your friend is happy with this arrangement, but at the costs of losing the respect of all their friends, including yours. how the fuck do you tell them that they've made this mistake? what are you supposed to do in this situation? what are you supposed to do when you told them all you want was for them to do what made them happy, but their happiness is at the cost of losing a whole slew of friendships???

i have no clue what to do...
i'm lost and i have no idea what to do
(these aren't lyrics, this is my predicament)

boo on drama friends and their drama problems. =( =/

 


The Best Deceptions--Dashboard Confessional

I heard about your trip. I heard about your souvenirs. I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights, and the cool guys that you spent them with. Well I guess I should have heard of them from you. I guess I should have heard of them from you.

Don't you see, don't you see, that the charade is over? And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you. So kiss me hard 'cause this will be the last time that I let you. You will be back someday and this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service to keeping you away.

I heard about your regrets. I heard that you were feeling sorry. I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us. Well I guess I should have heard of them from you. I guess I should have heard of them from you.

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers, I'll be all right when my hands get warm.Ignoring the phone, I'd rather say nothing. I'd rather you'd never heard my voice. too late to be graciousand you do not warrant long good-byes. You're calling too late

 
she's crafty

wow now i'm totally on this whole sewing kick. i'm going to tall mouse tomorrow to get fabric so i can make more of these reformed pants/skirt things. i might as well make myself useful until school starts you know?

i'm attempting to be neat...i'm attempting to have a clean room...

i know you are all laughing at those statements, but note that i'm heavily stating the word "attempting"

ok..off to attempt to clean...

 
the nigella, not martha stewart, in me comes out...

for those of you who dont know nigella, she's this cool anti martha stewart on the style network. the valley seems to be the only place that gets style so only ivy and a few others will understand why there is a network contributed to just style. but yeah she does cool shit, but doesn't pretend to be all expert about it. she eats the food she cooks straight out of the oven, even when its 180degrees and she burns her tongue,she doesn't care.

the reason i'm explaining this chick is because i'm currently in the process of making a skirt. i took apart of old jeans that i'll never wear and am turning it into a skirt. all this because i was hanging out with caren and we did a random trip to super k. i got tons of crap i dont need, but yeah when your at super k at 12am thats whats gonna happen. i started this process at 1 am...its now ten to 5am. eek...i will finish this!!!!

had my house mtg today. 20 out of 32 showed up. yay good times. got done in an hour. they weren't unruly like my old otero resis and i was hopefully laid back enough and goofy enough for them to dig me. its looking to be a good year.

so yay....

now i must resume skirt making...

oh and yapster: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

 
so its begun...

the ha/ra fishbowl has begun. i just met with the returners of the AsAm house. i got pretty good vibes from them. i'm realistic, only half of them will show. food and drinks (booze) is the only way to get them to come out to anything. i have a feeling some of them are a little homophobic. but otherwise i'm hoping for a good year. i'm buttcrack tired, but i'm pretty happy. its cool to see ppls i know around here too. like anashmell, bev (visiting alpha phi), and sarah. i'm happy with where i'm at. definitely.

the "will the like me" jitters have occured. i'm trying to get out of my "be cool" thing. i know now thats how i was like with the otero kids, with my asam ppls i dont think i'm gonna do that. i just want the house to have a good year, programming wise and socially. **cross your fingers**

i cut my hair. its not super short, but its at my shoulders. kinda like how it was when i started being an ra last year. strange huh?
. . .
just got back from a movie with alex. we saw ballistic. its ok, lots of action, not much dialogue. good vs. bad, straight to the point.
. . .
i'm tired i should sleep...
tomorrows agenda
arc, a much needed trip
lunch with debby
hang out with alex...again...

ahh the days of not worrying about anyone buy me myself and i...

good times good times

oh and i cut my hair...its now at my shoulders...i dont like it. it'll grow on me and longer soon. thank gawd
if u see me wearing a hat 24/7 its bc im not digging my hair =(

 
eek

so my new resis are moving in tomorrow. EEK! its gonna be hot as fuck tomorrow. emil was right. move in always seems to be the hottest day in irvine! i'm pretty set with decorations and stuff. have minute things to worry about. big thanks goes to caren for helping me make some house mtg posters! and for hanging out tonite. yes reality tv is taking over, and is horrible, but you just can't get away from it.

why is it that when you should be sleeping is when you get inspiration? i should be sleeping right now bc i have to be up at 830 for breakfast and to prep for move in stuff, but i'm up writing down all these programming ideas. its like if i dont write them down the ideas will all wither and disappear. and knowing me and my scatterbrain ass they would!

i truly am a scatterbrain. thats something i have to work on...i'm trying i tell you. i swear i'm trying!

ok thats it...time to nap until move in!

 
tired as fuck...

i'm really tired rite now. i've put up about half of what i need to have up in as creative a way i could think of. u'd never known that in this large noggen of mine lied many incatrate ideas in how to make a house cute and informative simultaneously. but hey i try.

the only thing that bugs is doing all this shit by myself and it being really late at night, i have ways of scaring myself. so i think i'm gonna turn in and just resume the decorating process tomorrow morning when the suns out and i can't freak myself out as much. goal: to be done by mid afternoon so i can hang out and chill in the evening.

achievable...yes
doable...yes

things are coming together

 
laziness strikes again!

yeah yeah, so for the past two weeks i haven't done jack shit for the house and i'm attempting to compact it all in the past three days. doortags yesterday, all this other shit today- kitchen signs, duty signs, decorations, etc etc- i have to put all this shit up, plus my info board and other decoratory abubuts as my mommy would say. i still have a lot to do tomorrow. photocopying shit and actually making the house all purdy. boo. but hey i'm ultimate procrastinator so its all biting me in the ass right now. just as expected.

even though i have all this shit...i'm not really stressed. which is good. i'd thought i'd be freakin out like a chicken with its head cut off right now. i'm angered at myself for being lazy, but thats a given. so how angered can i really be? not too angered.

i am getting a little pertrubed as far as programming is concerned i have my ideas, no dates in stone yet, but i got the ball slowly going. better talk to june and prof liu soon so i can get their input. but i'm getting the feeling i'm on my own.

i kinda want all this shit to get over with now. its a hassle that i'd like to dissapate soon. once school gets settled things will return to being copasetic. ahhh just the way i like it.

proof of my nerdom: i've been rearranging/cleaning out my buddy list on aim. i went buck wild and created all these different categories. i used to have the basics: apsa, kaba, mesa, la ppls, familia, otero, and other friends. now i have: hey buddy (friends), uci homies, apsa babies, brockton&friends (which is basically brockton plus nina), mi familia, kabalicious, ol'skool board (boarders '00-01), boarders part ii (boarders '01-02), puso pals, mesa all stars, bananas crew, sunday/vortex crew, oldskool mesa staff, oteros best, av [h]e[a]d[s] (av has), quad pod (my quad), av [c]u[p][s] (av cps)

dear gawd i think i've hit ultimate dork-dom.

the queen of dorkdom must now peace out before she gets any dorkier....
but she realizes that thats highly unlikely ( she shall always progressively get dorkier...its hereditary)

g'nite
--signed by
CONFESSIONS OF A SELF-PROCLAIMED DORK

 
pooped and exhausted part ii

so yeah i'm freakin tired right now. i didn't get much sleep. yesterday was the av staff retreat. good times good times. very rustic pastoral nature-esque settings happening there in the san diego county mountains. it was cool, minus the fact that i couldn't really sleep. my back and neck are all full of crazy knots. i am definitely in need of a full body massage right now. that or a trip to a chiropractor at least!

i finally did shit for my house. i did my door tags! me and carlos went on a shopping run and found stuff for our houses. and then it was off to christynes to decorate. next on the agenda is rcrs (room condition reports), info posters (dutyline, 911 etc etc), and then house decorations in general. ahhh the life of a ha at arroyo vista...the life of an ra in general... i want to be finished by friday so all i have to do saturday is put all this shit up and then go out and have fun with the old film studies bunch.

now i'm tired and sleep and hungry. i dont know which ache to satisfy first...most likely to satisfy first...most likely food

jen: do what you gotta do to be happy
ivy: dont be too mad, let her do what she has to do
sunday crew: gotta do another reunion thing
nic: thanks for helping me move
everyone who came to my bday thing: big thanks for watching me make a fool of myself
av staff: thanks for the fun times in the mountains of sd

 
interrupted dreams...

so i was sleeping and i realize the reason why i've been waking up every hour upon the hour. i was supposed to pack for the retreat tomorrow. unfortunatley in my dream i thought i had already packed and so i proceeded to go back to sleep. but yeah something was bothering me so i got up and looked at the bag that i "thought" i had packed. yeah empty. so i scrambled to put some things in the bag. but now...now my room is one big mess. i know i know...you guys are thinking when isn't one big mess? well shit its gotta get clean soon. it starting to frustrate me! and with my new resis moving in this coming sunday i think i better do that!

 
pooped and exhausted...

that's what i'm feeling right now. these all complex trainings are a biatch. thank god there over. tomorrow we're going on a retreat. ropes course again! yay, and i mean this yay, not a yay in a sarcastic manner. the eye candy factor for this year's staffs are in a downswing. not too much if u ask me. boohoo, oh wells. i'll have to get my kicks checking out eye candy elsewhere.

i'm eating bjs pizza leftovers. thanks to ivy and jen! thanks for being great best friends hehe! i loved my dinner. sorry i was a poop head when we got to the apt. i got this horrible migrane when i got there. i dunno whats up with that.

my parents were dope on sat we went to red lobster, yay cheesebread. the food=excellent. drinking that day, bad choice. i wasn't in the mood and i did it just to drink with my dad, mommy was the designated driver of course. so it made me grumpy the rest of the night. oh i also did something stupid bc of it. i told my parents about how me and my friends watched got to believe, that filipino film with rico yan and claudine borreto. i went off on how overdramatic those movies are and i did my attempt to impersonate the female characters by saying to my parentals that those characters are always going around saying shit like "bakit ba, hindi ko pag find nang boyfriend para ko?" in this high voice... ohmylanta how embarrassing. my parents just started cracking up at me. i told ivy and jen and they started busting up too.

ugh...never gonna drink with the 'rents when i'm not in the mood again...

 
ants begone!

so the ants in av are killer. they come out in record time. hella annoying. i just borrowed joy's ant spray and have now alleviated myself from the wretched ant problem.

my bday bash was good times. i didn't get too drunk, which was good. i know my limits and i didn't go too far. spew on that 3wisemen and that crap that jared bought me. needless to say, i was pretty buzzed. and it was cool to hang out with ppls i hadn't seen in a while. thanks to everyone who came out! it meant a lot. oh hey and thanks mike for your guitar, it'll actually get played! oh and to the la crew thanks for coming down, i know its a long drive for you guys! and hey i can't believe andy remembered that the first time i met him i licked his belly after i lost at truth or dare, no? man...that was a long time ago...and yes i am the alcoholic friend =p

i had diversity training all day today. going to these things is always difficult. as a cross kid, u feel like u know all u know about diversity,but i attempted to keep an open mind throughout the entire session. it was hard to not get a lil teary eyed as folks shared there stories. it was really long though, that's always the problem with training. everythings so impacted that i feel the message can get muttled in the process.

i smoked with the co-director of arroyo vista, leslie today. it was funny, me and mario, the ha of the engineering house talked about smoking a cig with her since she does smoke and when i saw her sparking up, i had to take a chance and join her. so me and mario shared a smoke with her. its kinda cool.

otherwise my weekend doesn't look to heavy. take alex to work, do some shopping at the gap, dinner with the family, then sunday--church with the family, possibly visiting the old borders, and then dinner with jen and ivy.

bye tinapays! have a good weekend

 
memories....

so today the ol' sunday crew kicked it: me, thao, caren, and jp. we went over to mesa and visited. thao got misty, jp got misty, caren got misty, and i got misty. it was really hard to be around there with them. i know i go there to eat, but it was just different this time around. me and caren visited ngoc in sierra and that darn girl never fails to amaze me. she's freakin martha stewart i tell ya. we just kicked it for a while and then were off to super k. i wanted cd-r's so i could burn good charlotte stuff, too bad the site won't let me burn them! damnit!!!! but i got groceries, toilettries, and candy. no shoes! altho i was very tempted. i only bought things i needed. or at least i knew i wouldn't feel too guilty about buying.

t'was fun. thanks for hanging out tonite guys! and thanks to caren for making chicken alfredo and the super k run!

good times good times =)

 
spread the word: lainey's bday celebration, this thurs gameworks @ irvine spectrum. 830ish. dinner and drinks. :-)

its time for me to turn 22 and you are invited to get me faded, but please...not too much i have training the next day at 9am.

 
oh and this if for sarah aka yapstar:

you should be scared for your birthday bc you know everyone and their mom is gonna be looking for you! heheeheh no chuck e. cheese for you honey! gameworks here we come? are you going to leave your mark like theda did? or perhaps you'll leave your mark on yardhouse like nic did????

countdown til sarah gets complete fucked up????

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH =P

 
question?

why is it that i'm the friend you call when you're drunk? in the past two days i've had two different friends call to tell me they were a) drunk, b) wondering where i am and inviting me to get drunk with them, c) telling me about how they got drunk and are comin down from being drunk. i know i seem to be everyone's one alcoholic friend, but really, i dont need the phone calls about it now here people! heheh its all good though. i think its karma coming back to me for all the times i've called other people when i was inebriated, which, as my friends know, was a lot last year.

got to see the slam contest at fpac today. i was hella late, so i thought that i had missed it, but i ran into daisy, this girl i met from ucriverside, and she told me that fpac was an hour behind schedule. i shoulda known...filipinos on time? shaw rite! it was all good though. tangent: i keep seeing daisy at these filipino afairs. i saw her at the fanhs conference in july. it turns out she was doing the leap internship and she got placed with filarts so she was all over the place. it was good seeing her though. she's a dope person. another of those folk that does the job, bc they love it. i hope she finds a job down here, so she doesn't have to move back up north. its cool seeing familiar faces at events!

funniest moment at slam contest:

johneric was calling mike on stage for the second round of the contest. mike was looking over to me, jollene, and jonah. johneric calls mike repeatedly and he looks over at us and we just start laughing. i shout "GO!" and he finally realizes that johneric was callin him on stage. me and jollene couldn't stop laughing about that. i was like...ASS! but its all copasetic. the winner was actually jonathan wandag. he won with this poem that i remembered he did for his pgrad speech at ucla. that guy's freakin hilarity. he just has bomb ass presentation.

the reason i'm writing this entry at 247am is bc i just got in from a norms run with ivy. the waitress totally recognized us. granted we were in there last week, but its'ok. she was cool about it. i spent my sunday at the brockton pad watching the last episode of sex and the city (aww what am i gonna watch at 9pm on sunday nites now!) and the anna nicole smith show. ohmylanta! scandalous. their trip in vegas was a jaw dropping viewing experience. andy likened the show to a train wreck, which i totally agreed with. it's just so goddamn herendous, but you can't keep your eyes off it!

indeed, an interesting day, indeed

 
same old same old

so i've been back in irvine for two days and things have already started to feel normal again. the same habits have returned to me. late nites meals a la norms, hungry-ness 24/7 bc i have no food around me, target runs, spending cash like no tomorrow (this habit i need to break bad), and del taco. the world has definitely become normal again to me.

so it turns out i actually will be around on my birthday. which is in 4 DAYS (just thought i'd remind all of you reading this...hehe) so i have no clue of what to do. gameworks? D&B? yardhouse? i have no clue as to what to do. someone help me please. maybe i'll just go up to see my parents and have dinner with them. that'll be good times....and then on the way back kick it in la? or end up going to gameworks or yardhouse to drink the nite away...hmmm tgif has happy hour from 10pm to 12am if i can recall correctly. perhaps i shall go there???

anyhoo if someone can help me email or im me with ideas.

and a new adieu i got from gen tatco, the very hilarious gen tatco,

bye tinapay!

 




I'm completely down-to-earth!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.


hahah




I am Rumpelstiltskin!

Find your fairy tale character at kelly.moranweb.com.


ok enough of those tests. first nite in av. its ok, good times. did a late nite food run with mike,yay norms tbone steak and eggs. i was craving food, so to norms we went. and then i smoked one of hans' unfiltered filipino cigarettes. ok yeah, i'm never smoking them again! way harsh...ewwwwww. i'm gonna stick with my filtered american smokes. i'm gonna show my dad tho. he'll probably get a kick outta them. they're so fuckin strong. now i really understand why there are filters on smokes! i'm getting hungry. i have no food here. eek ok time to go get ready for food....that or sleep...

cya ppls, have a good saturday! if you're going to fpac gimme a call i'll be there around 2

 
home sweet home

ahhh yes...elaine is back in the OC. back to where life is breezy and kickback and stress...stress is at a bare minumum or at least put on hold. YAY =p i should be putting my shit away...but naw i'm lazy i'll do that laters tonite. hoorah that my mom and pop got me this nifty nifty laptop. i have finally joined the 21st century. too bad it took me like 4 years of suffering in the stone age. but i'll miss my hella oldskool puter, my 13inch convex/concave who knows, tv screen of a monitor, my tower with a tape drive and the big floppy drive...yeah that's how oldskool my puter was. now i'm running on a beautiful piece of machinery.

its good to be back i tell ya.

call me if ya wanna hang out!

 
thank gawd for the magic box we call TELEVISION

now i know people say that the magic box should not be an electric babysitter, but by golly it was mine and i turned out fine i tell ya! (shut up! i know all of my friends are laughing, but i'm FINE!) TV has been the insipiration to why i became a film studies major, the starter conversation with a lot of people i never thought would be my friend, all in all just a good lil buddy (ala the skipper on giligan's island)

i mean really tv is what bonds our community together nowadays. even if you don't know it. the person who you buy your latte from every morning is also the person who may have potentially shared a funny moment with you while watching friends the previous evening. or that stranger who you've been eyeing in class might have been gasping in bewilderment at the results of american idol yesterday (woohoo kelly clarkson baby!! guess my vote did help) you just never know.

now others might say that this is a bit optimistic. i do know that tv does have its drawbacks (anna nicole smith show) but really---even its drawbacks are hilarious. (can you tell me you're not laughing off your ass off when you see bobby trendy proclaim that all of anna's leopard furnishings are LUXURIOUS as he flips his imaginary long hair???)

i mean come on yesterday alone was great tv for me. the results of American Idol show! dude even celebs were lined up in there. natalie cole congratulated kelly clarkson's mom for gosh darn sakes man! ok ok i know i want to kill ryan seacrest, that dunkleman guy didn't bug as much, but good lord couldn't the producers have gotten a better host than seacrest??? but i digress. that show made me tear up and smile. i so knew kelly was gonna win and i thought it was so touching and super cheesy when they had her sing "a moment like this" when she won. but what was up with nikki singing with her, hogging the mike near the last part of the song? i was all up in my chair saying, ''girl you didn't win, dont be singing kelly's song you hearrrrrd!" (yes i become dirty south ala nellyville when i'm yelling at my tv)

and then contest searchlight. that was some freakin great tv. its about how dennis leary and lenny clarke put on a contest to allow young up in coming directors/writers to see there vision be put on the air. i loved every horrible second of this reality based show. i loved it when jon stewart backed out of being a co-producer with dennis leary. i loved it when colin quinn nearly pummeled jim serpico. i loved it when they hit freakin legitmate actor-man peter gallagher with a damn car. i loved it when they electricuted patrice when the sprinklers went on. i loved it when the comedy central page put a deaf group into the audience. i loved it when there was an all out brawl during the show. i especially loved it when one of the actors punched michael lombardi (the director) and broke his nose. (this mike lombardi guy is a complete ass.) i loved every freakin moment of it. it even had the classic network dude firing the creative producer. i loved every second of this damn show and in the end i questioned every second of what i was seeing. it was so horrible and so bad that i thought it was written. all that crap/drama between everyone...it just was way too over the top. and in the end looked like the pulled the biggest reality hoax i've ever seen. and props to them if they did. it was damn fine good TV.

oh and bytheway tv gives so many people their crushes. everyone finds that one cute gal/guy to be in love with. for instance a bunch of my guy friends are madly in love with kristin kreuk of smallville. they would watch episodes of that show everyday just to see her. and as for my crush of the week from tv. it would have to be joel from good charlotte. joel and his brother benji host all things rock on mtv, which bytheway is a good show in itself. a show on mtv that shows rock videos?? go figure! bonus for having cutie hosts. too bad its on at like midnight...wack. how does this show get put on at midnight and trl's crapovision gets put on at 330? ok its not really crapovision...but the teeny bopper association that trl holds gives me all the more reason to deem it crapovision, no?

ok enough of this long diatribe about the greatness and inadeqaucies of TV. but who cares...you've probably stopped reading this long ago bc days might be on soon....

cya

 
just a lil reminder

elaine's birthday is in nine days. septemeber 12 is a day to remember. generous monetary gifts will be greatly appreciated, but since i know all my friends are broke asses like myself here are some suggestions... hehe

*smokes, benson&hedges menthol lights or anything menthol light, the camel smokes that come in tins are also a good gift esp. dark mint, crema, or even turkish jade.
*alcohol, spirits of any kind would be loverly. if its beer newcastle or if on a budget, a forty of MGD is fine. if vodka you can't go wrong with grey goose. and i just recently tried this bacardi cyclon. fabulous i tell you
*dvds, from comedy to drama to sci-fi to cult classics. i'll appreciate those kinds of gifts as well.
*music. ok i know i tend to go buck wild when i purchase music so i'll drop specific hints for this one. the will.i.am solo project, riddlin kids, boxcar racer (even if eddie said it was on the sucky side), classic chillout
*tickets to dashboard confessional, slum village, public enemy w/dilated and blackalicious. check the la weekly or oc weekly for those shows


i'll actually be outta town training for arroyo vista stuff, so the celebration will have to be on hold.

i'm just kidding about all this stuff though, a phone call would make me smile just as much as tickets to dashboard would. well---tickets to dashboard would make me smile a whole lot more. =p

 
CRISIS AVERTED

THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON...

this theory has just proven itself to be very true to me. so i wrote about how i was stressin about iced latte boy and how i just couldn't get the number rite? well something in me prevented me from asking him that one day that seemed to be just perfect. i just wasn't feeling it that one day. i was in a pretty shitty mood and didn't wanna pressure myself into doing something stupid.

good thing....

bc today he was in and he was with his girlfriend. THANK GOD i didn't ask bc the humiliation factor would've been a bit unbearable.

things happen for a reason and eventually you'll learn the reason.
====================================

highlights on other things:
**today was my last day at borders sherman oaks....YAY. miss the people, not the work. i'll definitely try to keep in touch with some of them.

**its been hot in herrrrrrre damnit. can't wait for fall to kick in so it'll be cooler. then everything will be very copasetic. perhaps if i go to grad school on the east coast i'll enjoy the colder weather. but i know i'll hate humidity....sweat...spew...

**got into an argument with my parents about the new cathedral. 193million for a house of god? i don't see the reasoning in that. (this is my opinion so don't go quoting me or anything) a relationship with god should take place in the heart and in the mind and it really doesn't need a multimillion dollar building to house an entire faith. jesus was carpenter a simple man, faith is a simple thing. i doubt it needs to be dressed up so much.

so my dad yelled and told me a story about how my grand aunt got into a fight with my fatherlolo (thus called because he was my granduncle as well as a priest). it took her 3 days to get to her city, a trip which would usually take 8 hours. so my dad attributed this delay because she got into a fight with a man of the cloth. so he told me to apologize for cursing the new cathedral. i said i was sorry, to appease him. but i still believe what i believe. that the cathedral was an unnecessary act of religiousity.

i know i'm not the greatest christian/catholic, but who really is? if i believe in christ and have my own faith shouldn't it be enough? and shouldn't i be allowed to vocalize my disdain for the bureacracy that certain religious officials have turned a religion, specifically catholicism, into? i may not be a bible thumper or proclaim christ so loudly, but that doesn't mean i dont believe in him. and it doens't mean i dont have relationship with him.

but i'm opened my big mouth on a topic that i know a pilipina kid doesn't talk about with their parents. words against the faith, politics, and sex/sexuality never get discussed at the dinner table. i have a tendency of bringing all these things up and getting yelled at for having the opposing view of my parents.
that's just how things are i guess...

things happen for a reason.